Who are you?
Naïma, 36 years old, Swiss/Brazilian
Where were you born? Where do you live now?
Born in Bern (CH), I have lived in Locarno for 11 years.
Have you found a difference between your country of birth and the place where you have chosen to live now?
Yes, the country where I was born has become too narrow for me, I already had too much history there, I feel more free where I live now.
What is your current relational situation (single, married, divorced etc etc)?
Married for 6 years
What difficulties do you encounter in your marital status?
Being able to put everything under a roof. Work, family, relationship and trilingual without getting lost in all these roles.
What are the joys of your marital status?
The feeling of growing up together, countless adventures with the people I love the most.
Are you a mother?
Yes. One daughter 6 years and one son 7 months.
What would you like to teach your children and what would you like to protect them from (although often you can't protect them from everything)?
I don't know if I can teach them anything, but I hope I can guide them in listening to their inner world, their emotions. I hope that I can accompany them in their search for happiness and I would like to protect them from imprisoning themselves in their fears (theirs and mine...).
What is your job?
Do you find a difference from other work colleagues as a woman?
We are less women clowns than men clowns. I have to say that I don't really feel a difference from other colleagues because I am a woman, but because of the fact that I as a woman and mother have chosen this job and lifestyle (travel and shows).
What difficulties do you encounter most often in your life, being a woman?
In being a woman I often find myself with different responsibilities that are not only mine. I observe that in general society tends to overburden women and believe it to be natural and I try to change this social habit that I have made my own.
Do you have a particular episode you wish to share?
For me it has changed so much TO BE A WOMAN after my first daughter was born. Up to this point I had a pretty clear picture of what it means to be a woman today and I felt quite free. I was doing the job I liked and I was with the man I loved. It was clear to me that as soon as my daughter turned 3 months old, I would go back to work, because that was my right and I did not want to get "imprisoned" in the role of housewife. This was my vision as an emancipated woman. Instead when my daughter turned 3 months old, I had no desire to work at all, I wanted to stay at home, look after our nest and spend hours pampering my daughter, I developed the pleasure of cooking and feeding. Instead I found myself working and paying someone to look after my daughter in my place. After a few months I was exhausted and I was quite confused.
Did this mean being an emancipated woman?
I wondered how other mothers did it. Reading the testimonies of others I saw that the number of mothers in burnout was very high. I had to re-evaluate my idea of being an emancipated woman, accept my surprising feelings and that it was fine to want to stay at home and take care of my daughter, her nest. In the years that followed, the main internal conflict remained: believing that I had to choose between work, career and family. Until the day I realized that I didn't have to choose, but find a solution to continue the work I liked so much and take care of the family as I wanted.
Have you ever suffered violence?
For my dark skin I have already suffered several verbal insults. As a child more than as an adult.
What is the thing about you that you are most proud of?
I am proud to have been confronted with different fears that conditioned me so much. Like the fear of going by plane, train and car. Or the fear of leaving my hometown, where I was born, where I had all my friends, a stable relationship and a secure job, to start a new life in a remote village in Ticino. I am proud to commit myself to live a better life.
If I had to thank someone in your life who would it be and why?
To me, because I have chosen and continue to choose life.
And to my parents, gratitude for all the love they put into raising me.
What do you think about other women?
For some years now I feel clearly that there is another energy in women than in men (not better or worse, just different). An energy that also awakens another side in me. I feel a strong need to exchange with other women, to be supported and supported by women. It is as if being with other women enhances my femininity.
What do you think about men?
The fact that I lost my father when I was a child has affected my relationship with men. For so many years I was looking for a safe haven in the relationship with men, not only in the relationship as a couple, but also with colleagues, with the boss, the teacher and so on. When I saw this mechanism I started to change. Today I perceive man more as an energy complementary to female energy.
What do you think about the world right now?
Surreal. I observe with curiosity everything that is happening all over the world. We also have family in Brazil and Argentina with whom we are in daily contact, it is strange to see this condition that has affected the whole world. Even though I lose my job and see our uncertain future, I try not to get caught up in fear and anguish, but I try to see what new opportunities this situation is bringing me. Thanks to the lock-down I was able to enjoy my motherhood in peace and quiet, we spent more beautiful family days than ever before. I see that this situation makes me more attentive, maybe a little more aware. I see that there is so much beauty in this world that is in danger of getting lost and I want to protect it.
If I could do just one action to contribute to a change in today's world, what is the first thing that comes to your mind?
Thanks to meditation I know myself better, I have learned to love myself more. If I could bring this gift to others, I think it would be an important contribution. When I love myself, I take care of myself and those around me.
If I tell you the word awareness, what are you thinking about?
Living life in a non-mechanical way. Being in what I do and learning from what I see.
If I tell you the word love, could you describe to me what it is for you today?
Probably the word with the greatest meaning that exists. I come up with a list of verbs that I connect to love such as FORGIVE, LOOK, LISTEN, TEST AND REPEAT, OBSERVE, ENJOY, BE GRATEFUL and it gives me the feeling that love is in everything. If I want it, love can be in every single moment and in everything.